It’s Super Tuesday!!!

Political events are like holidays in my house. The West Wing television series is revered and different episodes are selected for themed mini-marathons. We treat the State of the Union like the Oscars. Watching everyone file in as we wait excitedly for the President’s arrival to be announced. Any president, it doesn’t matter it is about the moment. There are bingo cards, snacks, drinks, and commentary out the ass. Presidential election years are especially meaningful. Like the Christmas shopping season, we comment how it comes earlier and earlier and drags on for too long.There are glorious debates, each one full of bravado and empty promises. Then before we know it, New Hampshire. Oh sweet, sweet New Hampshire, an entire state of small town charm. The New Hampshire primary sets the stage for the season and then it’s on to Iowa. This year has been more entertaining with The Donald plowing through the GOP. He’s like this season’s Tickle Me Elmo, everyone wants one, but no one is really sure why. Unfortunately, a lot of people are falling for the hype and it is ALL hype.

The truth is, I thought The Donald would be long gone by now. Either he wouldn’t be taken seriously or would get bored and then get gone. And we would all laugh at his inexcusable bigotry and play “can you imagine…” about a Trump presidency. Then he started winning and to take a line from the Hairpiece himself, “….winning really big. Yuge. Yuge wins.” Maybe I’m paraphrasing, but that’s basically in every speech he delivers. He is a foul, lying, manipulative, egotistical, megalomaniac bully who says and does truly awful things. People love him. They don’t care that he is a complete hypocrite who seems clueless about how our government works, most notably that we don’t do dictatorships in the United States. I have made comparisons to the old, blatantly dirty politics of yesteryear and even to Hitler, which I decided may be too far. None of it matters to his devoted followers, The Trumpholes all fall in line and sing his praises that he will make ‘Murica great again. Ugh.

This Super Tuesday, I find myself trying once again to understand what in the ever loving fuck is going on. I love a good documentary on cults as much as the next girl and I have to admit the Trump supporters, the aforementioned Trumpholes, fascinate me. I want to smack the Kool Aid out of their hands and scream WAKE UP! I want to save them from the obvious lies and greed this man is feeding them, but they want to be great. They seem angry and broken and here is a man “telling it like it is” and promising to make everything better, apparently just by him saying so. Like any successful cult leader he knows what to say to bring the followers into the fold and what to say to keep them from going astray. He resorts to name calling, blame calling, and whatever deflects negative attention away from his awesomeness (barf).

To be fair maybe it is just me not getting the appeal. Maybe I have no idea what is really going on in ‘Murica because I live in America. Maybe I just can’t see past what I think the GOP is and how presidential candidates should carry themselves. Maybe I just can’t help rolling my eyes every time The Donald insists on reminding people how smart, successful, and self-funded he is. Maybe it’s that Hitler thing still lingering in the back of my head. The latter is definitely why my Super Tuesday has been less super and more boos-day (or I-need-more-booze day).

Hitler was vile, angry, and in a league of evil few others have come close to qualifying for. He is the stuff nightmares are made of, but he didn’t show that face to the world right away. Actually, he gained people’s trust and loyalty by alluring them with promises to make the people of his country great again, to rid them of those not like them who were at fault for their country’s failings, to usher in a new way of governing because he was a better, smarter leader. America ignored Hitler assuming his fascist rhetoric would fade away. Assuming the people would not fall under his spell, that he was not a threat, that he would not commit heinous crimes against humanity. America remained neutral when Hitler began invading the surrounding countries. We watched, we waited, we were wrong.

Trump may not be a total Hitler, but there is a need to stop treating him like he is just a child throwing a tantrum or trying to get attention. A need to stop the hate machine before it tears our country apart from the inside. We do not need another Civil War, Great Depression, or Cold War (any wars really). My stomach turns with every “Trump Wins ‘fill in the blank state,'” and each dismissive comment, “He won’t win the nomination”…”He won’t win the general election”…”What are your thoughts about living in <insert any foreign country here>?”

He is not the respected businessman he paints himself to be. He will not make this country great. He needs go buy an island somewhere, declare himself Supreme Overlord with THE best hair and un-tiny hands in the WORLD. Ever. He and his carbon copy sons can handpick who can live on their YUGE dumb island with THE best everything and Trump can farm in as many wives as he wants so he can keep practicing traditional marriage. It’s going to be great. Very classy. No losers like Rubio and Ted. Ben can come and be “the Black guy” so no one can say it is an island full of you-know-damn-well-who-David-Duke-is racists. And no media, I mean look at all the media I am an absolute whore for, but oh I despise 70, 80, 90 percent of them. Whatever.

This is the first time in my political loving life I am actively advocating against an individual. I usually focus on groups or issues, but as much as I want to ignore this asshead, I just can’t. My tweets and other social media posts have become a hashtag buffet of Trump Distopia…ohhh that’s a good name for the island. Drumpf Distopia is even better! #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain #DumpTrump #NotMyCandidate #OMGIcantstophashtagging.


A few days ago my oldest asked me why the men on TV were so mad. I told him they were fighting because they want to be the new president. “Huh. I like the lady in pink, she’s pretty, where is she?”

He is six years old and President Obama leaving the White House is confusing because he is the president. He is absolutely adorable trying to process how all this works. I remember being confused when I was younger and President Reagan left office. I also remember how elated I was to vote for Bill Clinton in my first election. My hope is my children also embrace their right to vote. I know for a fact they will have a clear understanding of the function of each branch of our government and how, collectively, they create a system of checks and balances.

“Hillary Clinton is a Democrat, sweetheart. These men are fighting for the Republican nomination to try and be the next President.”

“Oh good. I don’t like them.” I decided it was time to watch something a little more sophisticated and turned on cartoons. My kid gets into enough trouble I don’t need grown men vying for the PRESIDENCY of the United States to teach him it is okay to launch personal attacks and lies at people you disagree with or don’t like and repeat vulgar things audience members shout out. He can learn all of that when he discovers WWE in a few years.

So as another Super Tuesday draws to an end I am sitting here reflecting on the many reasons I will vote in a few weeks and again in November. I cherish my right to vote because while the system isn’t perfect, women fought for this voice. Men and women have died to protect our freedoms, our voices, and our rights. I won’t be bullied by some blow hard billionaire into believing bullshit is what is best for this country. I won’t stand for defunding Planned Parenthood or cutting off access to safe abortions. There will be equal pay, equal rights, the right to affordable healthcare, and the laundry list of liberal gifts I want delivered over the next four years. I won’t stand by silently while Muslim Americans are attacked and Christian values are spewed forth in a most un-Christlike manner. No, I will take my son by the hand and walk into our polling place so he can see participation matters. We are also going to talk about why it is okay to vote for someone who isn’t “pretty.” As long as he gets to wear the, “I Voted” sticker it’s all good. Cause we all know it’s really about the sticker and cancelling out an opposition vote, right?

Damn, I love this time of year!


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