election2016

Normalize This?!

I’m beginning to emerge from my shock induced cocoon and replace my funk with fight. The fight I would have gladly taken up if any Republican candidate had won the election. I haven’t been wallowing in self-pity because I am a sore loser. I fully respect the natural order of presidential politics: they get four to eight years, we get four to eight years. Both sides complaining about all the mess left by the previous administration. Promising to protect our respective parties dearest values.

Jeb, Kasich, Rubio, all would have received an obligatory liberal “we’ll be back in four years,” eye roll and I would have bought my Republican friends a round of drinks.

Cruz and Walker would have felt like a punch in the uterus and I would know LBGTQ rights would be an absolute priority.

The rest of bench, prior to the outcome of this election, were not to be taken seriously anyway.

There are two Republican candidates I can say I would have enjoyed because they are their own special kind of crazy: Lindsey Graham and Rand Paul. Can you imagine how much fun those two administrations would be?! Fun in an OMG-No-No-No-At-Least-It’s-Not-G.W. Bush kind of way. Senator Graham is a Southern Bachelor who is not afraid to tell big orange bullies to stick it where the sun don’t shine. And Senator Paul is bat-shit crazy. CRAZY.

No, I am not a butthurt sore loser because the Republicans won the election. I am not a big liberal cry baby refusing to accept a candidate that failed to win the popular vote. I am not a Bernie supporter with misplaced anger issues. I am a human being who refuses to normalize hate for fake cries to unify the country. Hate is a strong word, an even stronger emotion. Hate has plagued America for decades and is not to be taken lightly. What this election needs to become is a wake-up call for anyone who ignorantly thought racism was dead. The difference between this Monday and last Monday is now the fear and hatred have the voice of the highest office in our country. The orange troll we had so many laughs about will now control the military, appoint Supreme Court justices, undo so many rights, and a lengthy list of other possible atrocities. He is surrounded by bigots who will help him shape our country’s future. We deafen our ears to history to keep up the appearance of being kind or civil.

WE CANNOT NORMALIZE HATE.

Voting for Trump did not make someone racist, misogynistic,  xenophobic, homophobic, <insert additional ists and obics here>. It just said they were okay with supporting someone who embraces those ideals. Good for them on finding a way to make peace with that, or rally around it. Whatever rationalization used cannot become America’s new mantra. People have fought and died on these streets of freedom just to bring us to where we are today. The America where a Black man is President and a woman won the popular vote. I don’t don’t when this America was greater, but I will not go back.

Bring the funk because I have a lot of fight.

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Listen To The Kids

hands-220163_640My seven-year-old is terrified of Donald Trump. It all started with Trump’s declaration to build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. He is terrified Trump will win, build a wall, and it will be Berlin all over again. Yes, my seven-year-old knows about the Berlin wall and he made this connection on his own without any prompting from adults. He’s a smart kid and will tell you without hesitation voting for Donald Trump, “…is really stupid.”

The first time he went with me to vote he wanted to make sure two people who loved each other could be married. He was confused why two boys or two girls could not get married. He was confused why someone’s god would not want them to be a family. He was confused about why no one else wanted them to be happy. He enjoyed voting so much he went again with his dad. Being able to vote is important to him, even if he isn’t doing the actual voting. There is no way this kid would let us get away with skipping an opportunity to vote.

The second time I took him to vote was for the Presidential Primary. He was not happy with my choice to support Bernie Sanders. We had a lengthy discussion about all the reasons I was voting for Bernie and not Hilliary. He has been with Hilliary since the beginning. I promised to vote for Hilliary if Bernie didn’t win the nomination, but he had to tell me why he thought she was a better candidate. And he did. This spunky little boy explained to me she was smart, had a nice smile, helped kids, and “has had a lot of jobs.” He can’t wait to go and see a vote cast for her. He talks about wanting to meet her and how she is going to be a great president. This conversation usually ends with another one of his Donald Trump sucks rants.

What does a seven-year-old know about who is qualified to be the next President? A lot. My vote directly impacts his future. My vote is a reflection of whether I believe in the morals I am instilling in him. He is watching, he is listening, and he is taking advantage of any opportunity presented to make his voice heard. He is the future. He is one of the kids who cried when they found out Obama couldn’t be President anymore. I love that his only image of an American President is an intelligent African American man. I love he thinks Michelle Obama is a wonderful, intelligent First Lady. I love that he sees no problem with a woman being the next President. More than all of these things, I love that he knows he has a voice and uses it to denounce hate.

And if he told me Trump would be a good choice, I would listen, openly and discuss why he should have my vote. This is not the discussion he wants to have about Trump, though. He wants to know why he has to leave the room sometimes when Donald Trump is talking, why is he so angry all the time, why does he tell lies, how is going to make things great? No matter how much effort I’ve put into shielding him from the hateful rhetoric, violence, and bullying, he finds out. My seven-year-old is dumbfounded anyone with any intelligence or human decency would consider voting for this candidate.

He sees the negative ads and articles about Hilliary and he asks questions. Emails, Benghazi, defending a rapist, who is Bill…I answer honestly, objectively and give him the opportunity to decide what he thinks. He is still with her. He may one of her biggest fans. As adults, we tend to think we know best. We have better judgement, more experience, more education. We are also more cynical, jaded, and often caught up in the latest news cycle.

As adults, we tend to think we know best. We have better judgement, more experience, more education. We are also more cynical, jaded, and often caught up in the latest news cycle. Kids don’t know everything. When I was a seven-year-old kid, I thought Reagan was amazing. He was handsome, kind, and seemed smart. I got older and learned a lot about the Reagan Administration I didn’t like. We didn’t have 24-hour news channels, the internet, or conversations about politics; politics were for grown-ups to discuss, not kids. Is it possible my son will grow up and change his mind about how much he loves Hilliary? Absolutely. Does that make his opinion right now any less valid? Absolutely not. Listen to the kids. They see and listen from a different perspective we as adults can sometimes miss. This is their future we are deciding, they should have a voice too.

 

It’s Tuesday and It’s Super…thanks for asking!

This post was originally appeared on Facebook (3/15/16) with minor edits made here for privacy. Enjoy!

My Super Tuesday Kinda Ranty Post! I had to wait four years for this woo-hoo! Let me know if you need help finding the unfriend button 🙂

In about four years, my adorable littles will be off the preschool. More than likely, they will be enrolled in a federally funded Head Start program because it will be the most affordable option. My oldest will be wrapping up his elementary public school career, which began with STEM enrichment programs and a successful Common Core curriculum. My children are being raised to be decent, tolerant humans and are encouraged to explore sciences and whatever faiths they choose. My children are taught manners, how to show kindness to everyone, and how we look does not define who we are.

In Pre-K, my oldest son was the only white kid in the class and he had no idea. The school he attends now is full of white kids and he has no idea. He does not understand why two men or two women cannot be in love, get married, and have children. He can explain to you what transgender means and why people need to have the right to be their authentic selves. He doesn’t think it is fair the same rules don’t apply to everyone and he thinks girls rock, even if some of them might have cooties. Diversity is a verb in our home.

I vote to protect and enrich my children’s future. Healthcare, education, civil rights…I never imagined an America in their lifetime like the one we are currently facing. I refuse to sit silently and watch hate take control. You want to fix the economy great, but tell me what that has to do with hating Muslims, being an overt racist, and threatening anyone who disagrees with you? Explain to me how building a wall helps international relations, or how I should explain to my sons why they are not allowed to repeat the words the president says? Tell me where the family values of the GOP are when violence, bullying, name calling, and other such nonsense is so common my child knows to leave the room, or asks to change the channel because he is tired of the yelling and fighting. This joke of a candidate isn’t funny anymore.

And as far as wanting an outsider to get things done…what job in the history of ever looks for applicants with no prior experience whatsoever even remotely close to the very serious job that needs done?! There should be commas in there, but that is the no-comma-rant-portion of this post.

I am so anti-Trump, my Twitter timeline looks like I’m moonlighting for the Kasich campaign. It hurts my Planned Parenthood loving liberal heart. And if I offend you here, don’t even bother with the Twitter sweetheart.

Remember kids: Don’t vote angry and those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

Peace.

It’s Super Tuesday!!!

Political events are like holidays in my house. The West Wing television series is revered and different episodes are selected for themed mini-marathons. We treat the State of the Union like the Oscars. Watching everyone file in as we wait excitedly for the President’s arrival to be announced. Any president, it doesn’t matter it is about the moment. There are bingo cards, snacks, drinks, and commentary out the ass. Presidential election years are especially meaningful. Like the Christmas shopping season, we comment how it comes earlier and earlier and drags on for too long.There are glorious debates, each one full of bravado and empty promises. Then before we know it, New Hampshire. Oh sweet, sweet New Hampshire, an entire state of small town charm. The New Hampshire primary sets the stage for the season and then it’s on to Iowa. This year has been more entertaining with The Donald plowing through the GOP. He’s like this season’s Tickle Me Elmo, everyone wants one, but no one is really sure why. Unfortunately, a lot of people are falling for the hype and it is ALL hype.

The truth is, I thought The Donald would be long gone by now. Either he wouldn’t be taken seriously or would get bored and then get gone. And we would all laugh at his inexcusable bigotry and play “can you imagine…” about a Trump presidency. Then he started winning and to take a line from the Hairpiece himself, “….winning really big. Yuge. Yuge wins.” Maybe I’m paraphrasing, but that’s basically in every speech he delivers. He is a foul, lying, manipulative, egotistical, megalomaniac bully who says and does truly awful things. People love him. They don’t care that he is a complete hypocrite who seems clueless about how our government works, most notably that we don’t do dictatorships in the United States. I have made comparisons to the old, blatantly dirty politics of yesteryear and even to Hitler, which I decided may be too far. None of it matters to his devoted followers, The Trumpholes all fall in line and sing his praises that he will make ‘Murica great again. Ugh.

This Super Tuesday, I find myself trying once again to understand what in the ever loving fuck is going on. I love a good documentary on cults as much as the next girl and I have to admit the Trump supporters, the aforementioned Trumpholes, fascinate me. I want to smack the Kool Aid out of their hands and scream WAKE UP! I want to save them from the obvious lies and greed this man is feeding them, but they want to be great. They seem angry and broken and here is a man “telling it like it is” and promising to make everything better, apparently just by him saying so. Like any successful cult leader he knows what to say to bring the followers into the fold and what to say to keep them from going astray. He resorts to name calling, blame calling, and whatever deflects negative attention away from his awesomeness (barf).

To be fair maybe it is just me not getting the appeal. Maybe I have no idea what is really going on in ‘Murica because I live in America. Maybe I just can’t see past what I think the GOP is and how presidential candidates should carry themselves. Maybe I just can’t help rolling my eyes every time The Donald insists on reminding people how smart, successful, and self-funded he is. Maybe it’s that Hitler thing still lingering in the back of my head. The latter is definitely why my Super Tuesday has been less super and more boos-day (or I-need-more-booze day).

Hitler was vile, angry, and in a league of evil few others have come close to qualifying for. He is the stuff nightmares are made of, but he didn’t show that face to the world right away. Actually, he gained people’s trust and loyalty by alluring them with promises to make the people of his country great again, to rid them of those not like them who were at fault for their country’s failings, to usher in a new way of governing because he was a better, smarter leader. America ignored Hitler assuming his fascist rhetoric would fade away. Assuming the people would not fall under his spell, that he was not a threat, that he would not commit heinous crimes against humanity. America remained neutral when Hitler began invading the surrounding countries. We watched, we waited, we were wrong.

Trump may not be a total Hitler, but there is a need to stop treating him like he is just a child throwing a tantrum or trying to get attention. A need to stop the hate machine before it tears our country apart from the inside. We do not need another Civil War, Great Depression, or Cold War (any wars really). My stomach turns with every “Trump Wins ‘fill in the blank state,'” and each dismissive comment, “He won’t win the nomination”…”He won’t win the general election”…”What are your thoughts about living in <insert any foreign country here>?”

He is not the respected businessman he paints himself to be. He will not make this country great. He needs go buy an island somewhere, declare himself Supreme Overlord with THE best hair and un-tiny hands in the WORLD. Ever. He and his carbon copy sons can handpick who can live on their YUGE dumb island with THE best everything and Trump can farm in as many wives as he wants so he can keep practicing traditional marriage. It’s going to be great. Very classy. No losers like Rubio and Ted. Ben can come and be “the Black guy” so no one can say it is an island full of you-know-damn-well-who-David-Duke-is racists. And no media, I mean look at all the media I am an absolute whore for, but oh I despise 70, 80, 90 percent of them. Whatever.

This is the first time in my political loving life I am actively advocating against an individual. I usually focus on groups or issues, but as much as I want to ignore this asshead, I just can’t. My tweets and other social media posts have become a hashtag buffet of Trump Distopia…ohhh that’s a good name for the island. Drumpf Distopia is even better! #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain #DumpTrump #NotMyCandidate #OMGIcantstophashtagging.

drumpf

A few days ago my oldest asked me why the men on TV were so mad. I told him they were fighting because they want to be the new president. “Huh. I like the lady in pink, she’s pretty, where is she?”

He is six years old and President Obama leaving the White House is confusing because he is the president. He is absolutely adorable trying to process how all this works. I remember being confused when I was younger and President Reagan left office. I also remember how elated I was to vote for Bill Clinton in my first election. My hope is my children also embrace their right to vote. I know for a fact they will have a clear understanding of the function of each branch of our government and how, collectively, they create a system of checks and balances.

“Hillary Clinton is a Democrat, sweetheart. These men are fighting for the Republican nomination to try and be the next President.”

“Oh good. I don’t like them.” I decided it was time to watch something a little more sophisticated and turned on cartoons. My kid gets into enough trouble I don’t need grown men vying for the PRESIDENCY of the United States to teach him it is okay to launch personal attacks and lies at people you disagree with or don’t like and repeat vulgar things audience members shout out. He can learn all of that when he discovers WWE in a few years.

So as another Super Tuesday draws to an end I am sitting here reflecting on the many reasons I will vote in a few weeks and again in November. I cherish my right to vote because while the system isn’t perfect, women fought for this voice. Men and women have died to protect our freedoms, our voices, and our rights. I won’t be bullied by some blow hard billionaire into believing bullshit is what is best for this country. I won’t stand for defunding Planned Parenthood or cutting off access to safe abortions. There will be equal pay, equal rights, the right to affordable healthcare, and the laundry list of liberal gifts I want delivered over the next four years. I won’t stand by silently while Muslim Americans are attacked and Christian values are spewed forth in a most un-Christlike manner. No, I will take my son by the hand and walk into our polling place so he can see participation matters. We are also going to talk about why it is okay to vote for someone who isn’t “pretty.” As long as he gets to wear the, “I Voted” sticker it’s all good. Cause we all know it’s really about the sticker and cancelling out an opposition vote, right?

Damn, I love this time of year!

Trumpression

Trum-pres-sion n. :

1) The unsettling feeling that this asshat could actually be elected president

2)Overexposure to orange faced hair beasts with cat ass lips

3)Diminishing faith in humanity similar to what is experienced reading most internet comment sections

150628100138-donald-trump-mexico-immigration-wall-intv-tapper-sotu-00013814-large-169

The primary source of  all known Trumpression cases

trumpression

Meme Credit: Michael Shirey

Dear GOP…we need to talk

Dear GOP,
I feel like I don’t know you anymore. We’ve never really been close, but I’m worried about you. I admit I talk a lot of shit about you behind your back, but you do the same and I have no problem saying it all to your face. I know two wrongs don’t make a right,  but we balance each other out. And I totally just edited out a whole lot of colorful adjectives describing our differences. That’s not what this is about. This is about you and a legitimate concern for your future. String up the banner because this, my right-wing friend, is an intervention.

HIMYM-INTERVENTION

You had a beautiful run with President G.W. Bush. You were at the top of your game. I found comfort hiding in the warm embrace of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and endlessly making fun of your idiot little brother. I say that with the utmost respect for the office of the President, of course. It looked like you were staying in the White House with Sen. McCain until good ol’ rootin-tootin rogue Auntie Sarah stumbled in. Then you showed up four years later with that beautiful, etched from a Republican presidential wet dream, Mitt. The whole damn family looked like they were born in the White House, but alas the Democrats won yet again.

You’ve got your Libertarians; we’ve got our Socialists, but as bitterness began to surface it looked as though the Tea Party was going to force out your lovely conservative, yet level-headed-ish base. Little did we know they were the gateway to something far more toxic. 51BdjKXqDeL._SX522_

I will admit I was nervous going into the presidential election preseason with Mama Hillary against your potential candidate pool. There was big brother Jeb, the possible return of chisel chinned cousin Mitt, Ted “Praise the Lord” Cruz for the evangelicals, Gov Kasich, the “Quiet Storm” (nobody calls him that), and maybe a distant Libertarian cousin, Rand Paul to spice things up.
It was going to be a GREAT season.
And then the crazy uncles showed up. Mine is a messy, adorable man with big ideas and a no fuss attitude. He’s swept in and divided our party, but most of us shrug our shoulders and claim either candidate is better than any Republican.
Yours. Yours is the reason for this intervention, for this much needed reminder of you are/were/could be.
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The whole family showed up to be the Republican presidential nominee. The WHOLE family. And you know not everyone knows when it’s time to go home…I’m looking at you Ben Carson. Somebody wake up Doc Carson, again. After each debate, caucus, and primary someone thanks the good Lord and heads home.
You sipped on that Tea Party crazy so long you went blind! A wealthy, successful, celebrity, entrepreneur takes a liking to you and you lose your goddamn mind (it’s okay, I can say “goddamn”,  I’m a Democrat). He has bullied his way into your soul and poor Jeb took his ball and went home! Jeb, you loved that man, and he’s from a legacy family! Did you even notice him crying in the corner? You friends and family who care about you have been trying to tell you this affair with The Donald has gone too far.

It’s about time for someone to pack Uncle O’Phobicist Trump into the gold plated minivan and head home.

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INTERVENTION!

So who’s it going to be? Who is going to take on Mr. BadHair Huff-n-Puff? Who is going to challenge his antiquated ideals and Hitler-esque style? Who is left on the island to take on the man Fox News might hate more than any single member of the liberal media?
Can the Doctor take on the Billionaire and his trophy wife? Doubtful. (Can he stay awake? Why is this man still running?) I know every election season you start to regret all the shitty things you do to screw over people of color, but propping up one of the most BORING people on earth because he happens to be African-American does not give you any diversity points. Much the same way that air bag Auntie Carly did nothing for your support from women.I know she looked promising, but Fiorina went Palin on you, I think you may have a type.
Who else is left in the pool…cousin Johnnie K from Ohio. Let’s see he’s moderate (well doing his best to shed that image now by attacking women), former Senator, decent Governor, slightly boring, but not like Doc Ben(…did he wake up yet), just wants everyone to get along…nope. I know that choice is much too reasonable, too respectable even. This is an intervention we need to take baby steps not huge leaps of faith (not that I am questioning your faith.) Maybe just call Jeb and check on him. No? Too soon? oqRsRdR
Ok that leaves the half-Cuban cousins Cruz and Rubio.
Their resumes are similar and they both may be attractive to the Hispanic voters you also spend an enormous amount of time screwing over, lump together, and assume their primary concern is immigration. And Teddy has already been going rounds with Trumpy so that seems like a good warm up. Oh wait, Ted’s got that dirty little Canadian secret. Damn.  I want our candidate to compete with your best and brightest (?), even if that is Ted Cruz (I’ll take Narrow-Minded Hate Machines Hiding Behind Jesus, for $1000 Alex.)
Which leaves Marco “Mr. Roboto” Rubio. He was an unexpected addition since this was Jeb Bush’s year and little Marco was raised by Jeb (awkward). You could say he is pretty dreamy with his uber-conservative views, youthful appearance, and fun name. Not Mitt dreamy, but he’ll do.  What Marco can’t do though, is beat Trump.
Even after Trump briefly hooked up with Auntie Sarah and now things are all weird and awkward.
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White people love The Donald in a way only, racist/xenophobic/homophobic/misogynistic, white people can love and that is with a heart full of hate for all things not white or Christian. (C’mon even their Jesus is white!) It’s the Bad-Hair-Don’t-Care Club of hate. Has the Westboro Baptist Church given him their endorsement yet? No, they hate Trump too? Is that ironic? (To be fair the WBC hates pretty much everybody except the WBC.) Also, I am not calling out white people just to call out white people. Watch any Trump event and scan the crowd. It is quite a monochromatic landscape. Shades of White with a splash of orange. And the Silent Majority signs are just asking to be called out on their bs.
 “Make America Great Again” sounds nice, but this slogan carries a truth that should scare the shit out of every non-Klan member American. He is a vile bully and YOUR party’s new poster boy. He is about to be your presidential nominee and while we have all thoroughly enjoyed the show, you need to put his embarrassing, tripe spewing ass to bed.

I know he ignited your alarmists’ flames in a way only an expert media arsonist can. He was the result of attempting to rebel against the sinful, politically correct liberal machine ruining America. A moment of rebellion against the corporate- loving establishment (you love capitalism, remember) because he’s “self-funded” so what? Is he going to self-fund the country so he can always get his way? Does this sound like someone we know? He’s all powerful, only cares about himself despite telling people to love him because maybe loves them…kind of…not at all, doesn’t play well with others, throws tantrums, also has really bad hair days, lives in North Korea…ringing any bells?

Please know I am saying all of this because I care about you. We rarely agree and it is a beautiful thing when we do, but you’ve gone round the bend. For eight painful (for you) years, your party has grown more stubborn and resentful. You gained control of Congress and have halted any meaningful changes, you’ve allowed hate to fuel your momentum, and your family is falling apart. Stop trying to deflect attention from this catastrophe by creating even more Obama Drama! This time you can’t blame us.  This isn’t the war on Christmas; this is real. This is all you, sweetheart. Only you can reevaluate your choices and make meaningful changes. Embrace your Moderates and reestablish your center. Om.

And when you look over to the Left, we will be here, cheering on your efforts to silence the Hair Beast that is decimating your party. We will take up the cause (because that’s what we do) to protect what shreds of dignity you still posses. We are really nice about it, not all in your face like your anti-choice friends. More of an, “I told you so,”  with a hefty guilt trip approach.

For example, “Is this really the GOP you want your born, unborn, or born again children to inherit? <insert head tilt, slight head shake, while patting your hand>.

Please understand our money, endorsements, and volunteers will not be given to ANY of your remaining candidates. We do have our own backyard and crazy (adorable) uncle to tend to after all. Know that we will do more than send you thoughts and prayers and we won’t demean you with our charity or pseudo-socialistic ways . No, we will embrace your need for tough love and remind you of your traditionalist Puritanical beliefs. In as simple and plain as our elitist ways will allow, we will tap into you fear-loving, fire and brimstone needing hearts so that you may fight back against the Orange Cat Ass Mouth Impostor. johnbBecause no one really wants to look at a cat ass and your party already has an orange man you are very fond of (and the Pope hearts him too!)

We can get through this, together.
Love (in a I-have-to-because-we’re-family-way),
 Your Around the Way Girl
P.S. I checked with my people and Obama is not behind this, although it would be the GOAT of pranks.